Here's your sign - just not enough...
About a decade or more ago, there was a big move to give out signs to stupid people. I believe Jeff Foxworthy started the "Here's your sign" movement, but it didn't stick around long enough.
So, since stupid people aren't wearing their signs (remember they are stupid, they forget things as basic as warning the rest of us), we need to start doing more to defend the rest of the world from them. Let us seriously consider minimum sentencing for the following acts of stupidity:
1. Failure to use a turn signal to indicate a lane change during rush hour on a crowded highway, or any other time it might piss me off.
2. Failure to use a turn signal when turning from a non-turn-only lane.
3. Failure to realize that something steaming is probably hot.
4. Failure to realize that doing twice the posted speed limit on a highway, while dodging cars on a motorcycle with no turn signals is wrong.
5. Honking your horn at the car in front of you when the light just changed.
6. Being a police officer and NOT following the laws of traffic under normal, non-emergency, routine driving. I'll suspend this one for any officer who puts on their lightbar, uses sirens, or even turns on their grill lights so that we have warning they are going to run that stop sign into the intersection we are crossing.
7. Being a police officer noticing a violation of the law, and NOT reacting because really J-Walking isn't a big deal, and neither is almost hitting a pedestrian in a crosswalk without a light.
8. Being a non-police officer and shouting profanities, or otherwise harassing a police officer in the course of their duties.
Sentencing to follow:
First Offense - Here's your sign, carry it everywhere you go. And MANDATORY 1 week anti-stupidity training.
Second Offense - Here's your sign, please pay the government 200$'s and carry it everywhere you go. And MANDATORY 1 month anti-stupidity training.
Third Offense - Here's your sign, please pay the government 2000$'s and carry it everywhere you go. And MANDATORY 3 months of anti-stupidity training.
Fourth Offense - JAIL, all wages garnished, all property seized, you are too stupid to care for it yourself.
So, since stupid people aren't wearing their signs (remember they are stupid, they forget things as basic as warning the rest of us), we need to start doing more to defend the rest of the world from them. Let us seriously consider minimum sentencing for the following acts of stupidity:
1. Failure to use a turn signal to indicate a lane change during rush hour on a crowded highway, or any other time it might piss me off.
2. Failure to use a turn signal when turning from a non-turn-only lane.
3. Failure to realize that something steaming is probably hot.
4. Failure to realize that doing twice the posted speed limit on a highway, while dodging cars on a motorcycle with no turn signals is wrong.
5. Honking your horn at the car in front of you when the light just changed.
6. Being a police officer and NOT following the laws of traffic under normal, non-emergency, routine driving. I'll suspend this one for any officer who puts on their lightbar, uses sirens, or even turns on their grill lights so that we have warning they are going to run that stop sign into the intersection we are crossing.
7. Being a police officer noticing a violation of the law, and NOT reacting because really J-Walking isn't a big deal, and neither is almost hitting a pedestrian in a crosswalk without a light.
8. Being a non-police officer and shouting profanities, or otherwise harassing a police officer in the course of their duties.
Sentencing to follow:
First Offense - Here's your sign, carry it everywhere you go. And MANDATORY 1 week anti-stupidity training.
Second Offense - Here's your sign, please pay the government 200$'s and carry it everywhere you go. And MANDATORY 1 month anti-stupidity training.
Third Offense - Here's your sign, please pay the government 2000$'s and carry it everywhere you go. And MANDATORY 3 months of anti-stupidity training.
Fourth Offense - JAIL, all wages garnished, all property seized, you are too stupid to care for it yourself.
posted by J. Nyquist at 11:33 PM
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